Humour & Nostalgia
for Pensionistas

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We're not the only ones getting older

Bob Dylan young and Bob Dylan old.

Bob Dylan young   Bob Dylan old

To see more comparisons of famous people when they were young and old,
click on the either of the Bob Dylan photos above.


click here   click here


Elderly woman showing granddaughter round a library: "It's a library, dear ... kind of an early version of the Kindle"   Old people having fun

Old people having fun

(click pic for video)


rabbi   An elderly rabbi and an elderly Catholic priest are reminiscing as they sit opposite each other in a train.

(Click on either of them to read how the conversation went.)


two women   Two elderly women are chatting one morning. Ethel notices something funny about Mabel's ear. She says, "Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?"
Mabel replies, "I have? A suppository?"
She pulls it out and stares at it.
Then she says, "Ethel, I'm so glad you saw this. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is."


Techi children    

Is your memory getting worse?   Do you keep forgetting
your password? Try changing it to "incorrect".   That way,
when you log on with the wrong password, your computer
will tell you, "Your password is incorrect"


Here's something for retirees


Mike Lawson writes:  We actually saw a church with this on it's notice board when we were travelling between Lancashire and Yorkshire, and I immediately thought, "Ah, I must put this on the Humour for Third Agers page"


couple dancing.  Man saying, "Tell me, do I come here often?"   You don't have to be a woman to multi-task


Getting old   My Life Backwards
by Woody Allen
Click here

over 40 secretary
  Mirror, mirror on the wall ... what the heck happened?


Old is when ... your wife says, 'Let's go upstairs and make love' and you answer, 'Honey, I can't do both!' Looking For My Wallet & Car Keys

This song by Tom Rush we can all relate to!


Question:   When is a pensioner's bedtime?

Answer:     Three hours after they fall asleep on the couch.


Question:   How many pensioners does it take to change a light bulb?

Answer:     Only one, but it might take two or three days.


Question:   What is the biggest gripe of pensioners?

Answer:     There is not enough time to get everything done.


Question:   Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?

Answer:     The term comes with a 10% discount.


University of Alicante
- courses in English for senior citizens -

university logo

Click notice for syllabus
  Baby Boomers


Optical Illusion:

Over a certain age our eyesight deteriorates. It is possible that
you may not be able to see this illusion. Click here and when
you see the picture keep looking at it. Don't give up. Many
people can eventually see a giraffe.


50th Wedding Anniversary

Wedding anniversary

To celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary, George & Barbara decide to go back to the hotel where they had stayed for their honeymoon.
Click pic to read what happens ...
Fred has a problem


Fred is getting old and has a problem making love with his wife.
Click pic to read what happens ...


The Retirement of
Sherlock Holmes & Dr. Watson
Holmes & Watson retire

Click on Holmes to read more ...


Aren't you glad that you don't have to
go to work in the UK in winter any more?



Two elderly gentlemen were sitting in the lounge of their nursing home
when Edith streaked past them entirely in the nude.   One of the men
turned to his friend Tom and said, "Did you see that? What was she
wearing? "     Tom replied, "I don't know, but it needs ironing!"



When I first received this, it was called "A car for women", which I thought was stupidly sexist.  
Wouldn't we all just love a vehicle like this, whatever gender (or age) we are?   And if you are,
like me, a third-ager who seems to have lost the skill of confidently pulling level with a parked
car and, in one attempt, reversing smartly into the just-over-a-car-length space behind, then
you too would give an awful lot to get your hands on one of these.


Grumpy old man:"When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger?"
Long suffering wife:"I clean the toilet."
Grumpy old man:"How does that help?"
Long suffering wife:"I use your toothbrush."


Worried about the ageing process?



Dr. Goldberg retires and comes
to live on the Costa Blanca.
After many happy years,
he finally dies .....

Click on the doctor to read what happens next .....
doctor clip art



There is actually a tombstone with this wording on it in Harrow on the Hill churchyard.



The LP cover - remember LPs? - I bet some of
you even still have your old 78s - is a link to
a page of flash videos I have downloaded from
YouTube.   Some of the videos are clips from
old rock 'n' roll movies.   Just listen to the
dialogue!   Corny as heck, but it brings tears
of nostalgia to my eyes.   The music is just
as fantastic as it was over half a century ago!
Play a few clips and imagine yourself back in
your adolescence .....

Page updated 14 March 2009



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